Sunday, 13 September 2015

'How long is the pattern going to speak for you?'

On 'RUOK Day' I looked in the mirror and decided to be honest with myself. I came to understand that I really, really wasn't OK and the effort of pretending otherwise wore me down even further. Losing my Mum and adapting to life without her was a significant part of that, but the truth is I've felt like shit (mentally) ever since the debacle of my Masters in 2005. This became normal to me because I never confronted or resolved it. I just tried to soldier on as best I could. I didn't want to hurt or upset people I loved by letting them see anything was wrong, so I went through the motions. Day after day, week after week and year after year, I painted on a brave face and tried to convince myself I was fine. I hoped my belief would help create the reality, but it was like treating a brain tumour with a bandaid.

For all my bluster and bravado, I have little confidence in my ability to do anything much. Whenever I succeed or achieve on any level, even with the simplest of everyday tasks, no-one is more surprised than I am. I've tried to sort out my silly old brain once before, and I found that process useful in the short term, but it only helped with the symptoms rather than the cause because I couldn't admit what the real problem was.


I'm tired of feeling this way and I'm tired of disappointing myself and others with constant subconscious sabotage. At present I use about a tenth of my ability because I don't trust myself to let loose and find out what I'm really capable of. Fear is to blame for this and, while I'll never eliminate it, I can and will learn to push on in spite of it rather than hide behind it.  I have big plans over the next few years and, if I want them to succeed, I need to face my many demons and take the buggers down. They, whoever They are, say 'behind every cynic is a disappointed idealist'. I am determined to dig mine out of his shallow grave, dust him down and let him breathe again. He's not dead, he's just restin'. Or possibliy pinin' for the fjords.   

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